Will I Ever Be A Good Enough Mom?
Why are moms so hard on ourselves?
We bend over backwards balancing kids, partners, work, laundry, cleaning, driving, school commitments, diapers, bottles…the list is honestly never ending.
After all that we do daily, why is that so many of us still refer to mom fails regularly and constantly feel like we are not doing enough?
We headed over to our ihelpmoms.com family therapist Marcela to figure out if we will ever be a good enough mom.
1. How do we tap into what our priorities are in motherhood?
First of all, stop explaining yourself. There are a lot of people we would love to please. But it can’t be done. We don’t have to explain ourselves to anybody. So why do we do it? Because we’re wired to care. We are wired to care about the collective. But I think we are of most value to those around us when we have taken really good care of ourselves first and know that every day is a work in progress.
Second, think of the people, activities and commitments that REALLY matter to you. Keep that list short. Really short.
2. How can we feel more confident in our decisions as moms? Will our kids be okay if we are not super mom?
We are not supposed to be super moms or perfect. I don’t know about you, but I kind of feel like I’m winging it everyday.
Our kids will be amazing if we can show them what it looks like to be kind to ourselves and embrace that the job of the living is always a work in progress and that you get to enjoy it as it unfolds. Every day we are making big and small decisions about our kids with the info that is always pouring in.
Surround yourself with people that love, support and bring out the best in you! Cut out the negative moms from your life. It’s okay. Really!
The most important thing of all is to trust your gut! Always follow your intuition.
3. How can we stop feeling overwhelmed in motherhood?
First and foremost you can’t drink from an empty cup. It is VITAL to take care of yourself. Get a nice shower in daily, make sure you get rest, get proper nutrition and carve out time for fitness, yoga or something to keep your body active. Here is why self care matters:
When do you feel like crap: is when you say what I did was not enough.
When you are taking care of yourself: You will be in the mindset to say I’m always learning, and this was the best that I could do today and next time will be a little better.
4. The burning question in our facebook driven, Instagram perfection mom universes…Does the perfect mom exist?
NO! It doesn’t exist. But you can be someone who loves to love. Enjoys the big and little things in life. Doesnt take yourself too seriously and embraces the idea that while we are alive the work is every day and whatever and whoever you need to help you along this journey, that’s ok too.
The beauty in not being perfect and needing others. It makes us reach out to others. And that is where the magic of life happens. Not when I’m a self sustaining robot and don’t need anybody. It’s when I admit that I don’t want to do it alone. My weakness is somebody else’s gift. And vice versa. And we get to make meaningful experiences.
Here is the big take away about learning to give yourself credit, love and recognition for doing YOUR very best:
Swap Out thoughts like: I’m so mad at myself cause I sucked at _______
Instead turn to gratitude: (It takes practice but it is so worth it!)
I’m grateful for my support system.
I’m grateful for my love of always wanting to learn and do better.
I’m grateful that life gives my lots of chances to do better.
I’m grateful for the good times, love and laughter sprinkled in between any challenging times.
I’m grateful I have people in my life that don’t let me take myself so seriously.
ihelpmoms.com is on a mission to help Make Motherhood Easier, Happier and Healthier! We want to help more moms to be gentle on themselves, to enjoy the ride of motherhood and to be good to yourself. You deserve it!
Join family therapist and ihelpmoms.com CEO every Monday at ihelpmoms.com Facebook Page for our LIVE Ask the Family Experts Show!
If you want to view our LIVE When Will Be A Good Enough Mom CLICK HERE!
With love and appreciation to our Mom Fans and Followers that want to learn how we can be happy, healthy moms!
Michelle and Marcela