Why I Think We Should Give Our Kids More
I always thought I was a good mom and then I met some of the most amazing moms in the world this weekend at a chiropractic leadership conference that inspired me to elevate my parenting to the next level. GOOD KIDS DO NOT JUST HAPPEN. I realized this weekend I had been unfortunately defaulting to the parenting tactics my parents used (love my parents but their parenting did not include communicating) and I also realized that because I am exhausted by 4 pm, I was not being the best parent I could be. These powerful women motivated me discover how to be a better, smarter parent.
The solution to creating great kids is to GIVE MY KIDS MORE! Not more toys, not more ‘stuff’. Read on to discover how to give your kids MORE to create a happy, fun, peaceful household!
- Give your kids more QUALITY TIME. My husband works ALOT. I will never forget a mom in the local moms club lecturing me that I needed to have my kids asleep by 6:30pm. Are you kidding me? They would never see their dad! Instead of letting this mommy bully me into mom guilt, I decided to plan a family fun calendar full of AWESOME things to do together on Sunday Family Fun Days! Now we constantly remind my toddler that we have some dedicated time set aside just for her!
- Give your kids MORE RESPONSIBILITY. Yup. That’s right. I was amazed to learn from these moms that they encouraged their kids to uphold household duties at age 3. I thought of my own toddler and decided to give it a try. These veteran mommies advised me to start a vision board and to help keep the focus on hard work paying off. So on the computer I created on my computer for FREE a very simple weekly ‘game’ with Making the Bed, Dressing Herself, and Taking A Bath Without Fussing. She is HIGHLY motivated to get her daily stickers working towards the goal SHE created (this week is it Elsa toe nail polish). Can you imagine if MORE parents taught young kids the value of hard work, achieving goals and following through- how great would our future workforce be, how amazing would our kids mindsets be as future leaders and providers?! **(I want to add that I tried this when she was 2.5 year old and it DID NOT WORK! She was not cognitively ready!)
- Give your kids MORE POSITIVE reinforcement. TODAY self monitor your parenting and keep a tally on how many times you praise GOOD behavior versus when you reprimand bad behavior. I am so tired of timeout that I have researched discipline options extensively and have found that if we can provide POSITIVE feedback when our kids are doing good things MORE than we say no or reprimand, our kids will turn to MORE good behavior MORE often. AHHHH…now that sounds GOOD!
- Give your kids MORE proactive EXPECTATIONS instead of reactive consequences (i.e. going to the grocery store, going to a restaurant, getting ready for bed). Proactive parenting can relieve a lot of stress for you and your kids. We teach them to think before they speak, so maybe we should too! For details on how to proactively parent and decrease stress, contact The Parenting Coach!
- Give your kids more opportunities to see LOVE to see in your house. Our kids feel and experience the tone of our households. It takes the exact same amount of energy to be angry as it does to emit happiness. Choose happiness. Love on your spouse/partner and be kind – as you are role models for what your kids will choose for their future spouse! If you are looking for strategies for more love and fun in your marriage/relationship to set a great example for your kids check this out! Sofia is an amazing resource for moms, marriages and families!
- Give your kids MORE LAUGHTER! As a mom I often get caught up cleaning dishes, doing laundry, cleaning up endless toys, but the most important thing I can do is to BE LIGHT AND FUN for my kids. That means stopping the busy work for dance parties, blowing bubbles, playing hide and seek. Let your kids see you having fun! Laugh every day. Your mind, body and soul will thank you.
All moms have the same 24 hours in a day. Sometimes there just isn’t more time or stuff to squeeze in a day. But we can put more thought and focused energy into quality parenting. I have put these strategies into action in our house and have been amazed that my toddler has really elevated her behavior and now I have more energy throughout the day by prioritizing my parenting! It takes effort and reiteration, but I have found it to be worth it!
Good kids just don’t happen. It takes giving more time, more energy and more thought into the kind of legacy you want to leave on the earth.
If you are looking to create a specific parenting plan to help your family find happiness and peace, make sure to talk to family expert Dr. Lauren Goldstein!