Why Girls Nights Are Good

This past Wednesday there was an expectant mothers event at the beautiful boutique Tutti Bambini in Miami.  Like most moms I had a hundred different reason floating around in my head for why I should go….

ihelpmoms.com is dedicated to providing a positive place for moms to connect!
ihelpmoms.com is dedicated to providing a positive place for moms to connect!

I had to pay a baby sitter.
My daughter didn’t want to be left and was clinging to me.
My husband was flying out at 4 am for San Francisco, so I wouldn’t see him.
It was an hour drive down to Miami in rush hour traffic.
My car battery died.

It truly takes the same amount of energy to focus on all those negatives as it does the positives.
I chose to focus on the positive and made a run for it!

I slumped down in the passengers seat and had my friend rattle off last minute instructions to the baby sitter, so my daughter couldn’t see me.  My blood pressure slowly went back to normal as I tried to keep my mommy guilt at bay.  As we flew down the highway I felt freedom that I hadn’t felt in a VERY long time.

Once we got to the event we got to enjoy food, meet great area baby professionals and bask in

Dr. Lauren Goldstein
Dr. Lauren Goldstein

the glorious baby gear that Tutti Bambini offers.  I felt fabulous! Now if you are like most women, you slink away from the vendors at events.  But let me tell you why you shouldn’t!  I got to talking to a mental health professional who had a promotional table at the event and what she told me was worth a million dollars.  Seriously.

I explained to her that my toddler who had always been a great eater was throwing her food and being much pickier.  It frustrated me to no end to see the food wasted and my patience was growing thin.  She looked at me straight in the eyes and said: It’s Not About The Food.  Period.  She explained to me that my daughter was flexing her independence and autonomy.  She explained that toddlers understand what we are saying but they are unable to communicate back.  The pointers she gave me included:
*Taking a deep breath and letting my toddler know I was listening and it looks like she was done eating her food, AND that we will save it for later.
*She suggested giving my toddler options, not too many, but again letting my daughter feel independent in choosing the green food or the orange food for example.
*Including toddlers in making meals or setting out meals to make them feel part of the process was another option.

I cannot express to you the extreme relief I felt that I was not a horrible parent, unable to

Amanda Alders Pike, PhD, ATR-BC
Amanda Alders Pike, PhD, ATR-BC

control my toddler.  My friend and I left both feeling like a ton of bricks were off our shoulders. We went out and celebrated with amount of amazing calamari, salads, live music…It felt so good to talk about everything under the sun besides our kids and to celebrate being strong, intelligent women.

The next day we gave the toddler tips a try and it was like we had different kids.  We have been texting for days about the difference we see in our toddlers.  Talking to a mental health professional and child development specialist saved us frustration, stress and mounting food bills!

Judy Hakiel-Calcaterra, LMHC, NCC
Judy Hakiel-Calcaterra, LMHC, NCC

Experts are called experts for a reason.  Make SURE to visit www.ihelpmoms.com to connect with our family focused providers and services to help you discover peace, health and happiness in motherhood!

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