Why Do Women Fear Birth?
I had the most profound conversation with my midwife today. It seems like everywhere we turn from the media to incessant tests waiting for something to show up as abnormal to negative mommies there is FEAR about birth. AND crazy enough a lot of fear I hear from fellow moms is negative talk from their husband’s that don’t even have to give birth! HA! But lucky for me, I have the birth guru of Florida on my side that has positively impacted my life and my baby’s lives forever.
My midwife, Sharon Hamilton of Homebirth Associates has delivered 2,000+ babies and has had 30 years experience as a midwife! WOW! I always leave my prenatal appointments feeling enlightened, loved and empowered.
Today we were talking about my previous birth and how mentally I am changing the way I am approaching the experience of birth this time around. I realized I have a fear that is holding me back this pregnancy. I have a very deep seeded fear of having to go to a hospital, as I do NOT want to give birth with my back in a bed. I want to walk and shower and eat and be free to labor as I need to. Thanks to my sister who said one negative comment that has embedded fear in my brain. BUT today I turned the corner to let that thought go as her comment can only affect me if I let it.
Today my midwife let me in on a secret to a beautiful birth:
FEAR CANNOT EXIST WHERE THERE IS LOVE
This time around giving birth again I know I must make the choice to embrace the experience with love knowing I am going to love my baby-to-be so much. I know our bodies were made to give birth, I have done it before- powerfully and I will do it again with a body that is wider and more prepared. I need to keep movies, the media and negative friends at a distance that portray birth as something loud and a little crazy. Truth be told, I had an 18 hour homebirth the first time and I don’t think I said a word in the last 5 hours or so I was so focused. Now 18 months later I don’t remember anything about the actual experience, I just know I have an incredible little girl.
After seeing my midwife today I feel light heading into this next birth. Birth isn’t a competition about epidural, no epidural, short labor, long labor, easy labor, intense labor, birth location and so on. We as women need to respect the sheer act of one another’s ability to bringing life into the world. Birth is something that I am choosing to embrace instead of fear because I know that I will have a wonderful baby at the peak of the journey. And what’s not to LOVE about that?
I found this online at On LOVE and FEAR ©1996 Frank Sant’Agata
and thought I would pass along.
Love and fear are the only emotions we as human entities are able to express. All the others are just sub-categorical emotions. For example, on love’s side there is joy, peacefulness, happiness, forgiveness, and a host of others. On the other hand, fear reflects: hate, depression, guilt, inadequacy, discontentment, prejudice, anger, attack, and so on.
Love and fear cannot coexist. Where one is, the other can’t be also. The one will leave immediately, should the other enter its presence. If you find yourself in a situation where you are experiencing great joy, and are suddenly overtaken by fear, the joy is gone! But it works the other way too: If you are terrorized, frightened, or otherwise threatened in any way, all you need to do is turn to the love within, and the fear disappears.
Learning to make the active choice to love and not fear in every situation is the way to find inner peace in this world. Yes, I said choice! We all choose what we wish to see in every situation, at every moment.