What If Our Husband’s Told The Truth?
I get about 5 minutes of ‘me’ time a day and I love zoning out to the Real Housewives after the kids are all asleep!
I happened to turn on the television to hear Terry Dubrow (You may know him as Heather Dubrow’s husband or as the surgeon on Botched) and here is what he said when his wife expressed dismay about him working too much.
“I’m having the absolute best time of my life but I’m not seeing my kids very much. But honestly I don’t feel very guilty about it” he admits. “I feel guilty that I don’t feel as guilty about it as I should.” ~Terry Durban
My initial reaction was “WHAT THE HECK?” And then I paused to ask myself…what would happen if more husbands were honest about THEIR wants, needs and desires? Would wives have the opportunity to learn the TRUTH about what makes their husbands happy? I feel for Heather Dubrow wanting more family time, but at the same time, I applaud Terry for his honesty. Sometimes the truth hurts, but in the end, isn’t it better to KNOW THE TRUTH then to wonder why your husband is distant, or unfulfilled or feeling like you are not on the same page?
I know in my own marriage I check in with my husband about every 6 months about what his top 3 needs and wants are. They have changed dramatically as we have had added more kids and our life has gone from newlyweds, transitioning to owning multiple businesses, traveling ALOT and juggling little ones.
Once I had the gumption to REALLY ask my husband and LISTEN to what he wanted in life, our marriage, our partnership and our life went to the next level of trust, respect and FUN!
He wants super healthy meals every night, he doesn’t want me working at nights and he wants to work out in his free time. Sounds simple right? Well, its not always easy, but I do my very best to make sure I get these priorities taken care of for him. Most importantly I found that now he is present, happy and loves spending time with us WITHOUT ME NAGGING! YEAH!
So, thanks Terry Dubrow for telling your truth and helping me to realize that it is vital to communicate as a couple what we truly need and desire from one another for a long lasting, honest, happy relationship. Especially when you start adding in little human beings that demand ALOT of attention, it is even more important to communicate with your spouse. Is it always easy to listen to your spouse if you have different needs and wants? NO! Is it always easy to take the first step to do something nice for your spouse if you don’t feel like all of your needs are being met? NO! But I have found in the long run, it is definitely worth having these honest conversations and doing your very best to meet your significant others needs to discover a deeper, more meaningful relationship. As a great bonus, I have found as I have stepped up, my husband has gone above and beyond to make sure I AM HAPPY! 🙂
I would love YOUR help on our mission to help MORE moms to be happy!
Do you know someone that can help make motherhood easier? IT’S FREE to be a family provider on ihelpmoms.com, so invite Preschools, Pediatricians, Doctors, Swim Classes, Mommy and Me classes etc to join!
Wishing you much love, joy and happiness!