Toddler Tantrums…What’s a Mom to do?
I know I can’t be the only one that stares at my kids wondering how my beautiful, fun loving little girl can turn into a tantrum, crying, cyclone.
Tantrums in our house especially when I am trying to cook supper or get them to bed are completely draining and tantrums outside of the house are completely embarrassing to me.
I have seen first hand that all moms and households have different barometers for their child’s behavior. Here at ihelpmoms.com we believe it’s your baby, your choice.
BUT one thing we do have in common regardless of our parenting beliefs is that teaching our kids to communicate is a VITAL skill.
I had the opportunity to sit down with Marcela Topf, Family Therapists and Mom Coach to ask her specifically what I can do to handle tantrums AND to PREVENT them!
-Center Yourself- Do not respond immediately. Take a breath and give yourself a minute.
-Address Root Of Frustration. Detect what they are frustrated about. Are they Tired, Hungry, Mad, Upset, Sad?
-Language- Help them understand you get how they feel. Give them the language they are trying to communicate. “Are you UPSET because mommy turned off the television?”
-Manage De-escalation- Distract with another activity, Change subject, Move forward with task at hand.
What to do if you reach your limit? If you feel like you are going to lose it.
Give a warning if at home: If I have to keep asking, you will go to time out.
If in public: Example they want a cookie at the store but they are throwing a fit. Mom says” It makes me sad that you are UPSET. You can’t get a cookie if you are UPSET.
If the tantrum in public keeps on going: I won’t go through the store with you like this, we are going back to the car now. AND FOLLOW THROUGH!!
Practice Practice Practice. The goal over time is to help your child discover their vocabulary of feelings to they can communicate instead of it escalating to a tantrum. Just like you are training them to have a bigger vocabulary and understanding of how to handle their emotions, as moms we have to train ourselves by practicing CALM. (Centered, Address Root of Frustration, Language, Manage De-escalation)
One final thing I do is try to be mindful if you are going out to grab snacks and put them in your purse, or avoid pushing the limits of doing that one last errand if you know they are around their nap or bed time. Proactive parenting decisions can help avoid tantrums too.
Here at ihelpmoms.com I am proud to talk about the imperfect side of parenting that most moms won’t admit. But most importantly I am proud to connect our mom fans to experts to Help Make Motherhood Easier!