The Mom Competition
The Baby Game
When babies are young there are often milestone competitions among moms. Then as the kids get a little older and we as females get a little independence back, the mom competition begins.
Who can shed the weight the fastest?
Who can balance motherhood, household, working the best?
Who can get their kids in the most activities?
Who can post the happiest, best photos of their family?
Who can make the transition back into work the fastest and easiest?
Who can happily breastfeed the longest?
Who can create the best kids crafts? The best kids snacks?
This list can go on and on. EXHAUSTING
Sometimes we judge ourselves, sometimes we judge others. Consciously and sometimes unconsciously, it’s just the nature of moms.
To be quite honest I ‘lost’ at absolutely every one of these mom competitions. I take forever to lose the weight, I suck at being a housewife, I don’t like being in photos, it takes me a bit to get working again, I wear my stretchy yoga pants for too long after postpartum with my hair in a bun and the most I have ever been able to breastfeed is 1/2 oz!
So needless to say, after 3 pregnancies I have come to terms with the fact the mommy competition just isn’t worth my time, energy or worry. Instead of competing, being intimidated or insecure, I have learned to embrace, listen and get inspired by fellow moms!
The Mommy Solution
- In Mom Friendships: Get around uplifting moms, friends, and family that love you for who you ARE. Your tired self, your passionate self, your happy self, your worrisome self, your real self. If someone is negative say bye bye! We don’t have time for that in our lives. For the sake of sanity in motherhood, though, be kind to everyone as we are all on this wild ride together.
- In Mom Group Life: The second and most valuable thing I learned was to get over the competition and get inspired! Get around women who inspire you. I remember last year all of the moms used to rave about this mom in my area. She was beautiful, successful, had a lot of kids and dazzled me from my vantage view afar. So I invited her out to coffee. I just wanted to be around her energy and to learn from her. I was highly intimidated, but it was so worth it as she is one of the most inspirational women I have ever met.
- In Mompreneur Life: I decided to fly up to NYC to see Jessica Alba at a business expo and one of my ihelpmoms.com providers decided to come with me. I didn’t know her well at the time and her vegan, healthy, organic, disciplined lifestyle was intimidating. But instead of letting the mom competition get in the way I listened to her insight with an open mind. She is nursing a little babe, gets up at 4:30 am to start working and she finds normal time to get away for couples events! At first, self-doubt filled my mind and I thought to myself all the advantages she ‘must’ have, she has a husband that helps more, she likes waking up early, she has a family to watch the kids. Then I stopped myself and celebrated her discipline! I felt rejuvenated hearing about her lifestyle- I started getting up at 6 am to meditate, pray, read, workout, cook breakfast. I scheduled a Tony Robbins conference with my hubby. And guess what? Life has gotten so much better since I stopped being competitive and got inspired by The Modern Hippie Mama! Check out her 101 Best Snacks for Kids HERE!
- In Fit Mom Life: I eat healthily, I work out every day of my pregnancy and I STILL gain the exact same amount of weight NO MATTER WHAT. 33 pounds. Then there is the aftermath where if I let the mom competition get to me I would be slumped in a corner crying that it always takes me a year to shed the baby weight. But thankfully for our ihelpmoms.com Mom Fitness trainers there is no need to be competitive, only inspired working out with other moms that are on the same mission. The accountability, encouragement AND childcare options included have been a lifesaver to wrap my mind and body around getting inspired to perspire the baby weight OFF! Find your fitness trainer support system HERE!
The mom competition is just not worth it. What is worth is is to find friends who love and accept you. Don’t shy away from powerful women, they could be the exact inspiration you need to become a better version of yourself. Let the competition go, stop judging and start loving yourself and others!
After all, we are all in this crazy journey called motherhood together!
Cheers to more love, more happiness, more kindness,