I Wish Someone Had Told Me This Before I Had My First Baby
There are new babies popping up all around me! My heart is so happy for these families. I have moms around me that ask for help, moms that are super moms and prefer to do it themselves, I have moms that are hard to please, I have moms that won’t ask for help, but need help…but regardless to the type of mom they are, I don’t know any moms that deep down don’t appreciate a kind gesture. I know this because I learned this lesson the hard way when I had my first daughter….
With my first daughter I didn’t like to show vulnerability. I liked to make it look like everything was fine and dandy. When really looking back on it, I was living in a state of chronic stress trying to heal from a hard birth, bending down to get the laundry tore my stitches out TWICE, timing meals was nearly impossible (my poor hubby ate out for a month), figure out breastfeeding, go grocery shopping, find time to shower and clean the house. I just ended up feeling like a giant failure in every way. We are often quick to brush off how other moms feel when WE are not in the stage of transitioning with a new baby, or handling a teething child, or battling sleep exhaustion, but it really is a lot to handle, especially if it is your first child. My pet peeve of motherhood are the statements “You’ll Get Through It” and “Just Get Used To It’!
This second time around when I had my daughter, I welcomed friends with wide open, excited arms who wanted to bring meals, spend time with my older daughter and bring me my beloved Starbucks. Sure my stomach was flabby after birth, I had glasses on and my hair was always in a ponytail. But you know what:
I WAS HAPPIER because I interacted with fellow moms AND my entire family was HEALTHIER because I wasn’t stressed out trying to cook all of the food and do it all myself. I learned when you show that vulnerability you are able to truly bond with fellow moms.
If there is anytime that we should relish the chance to JUST BE NICE it is when a mom could use a helping hand. Sometimes that means lending one even when she doesn’t ask for it or expect it. One of my favorite things to do is drop cookies by or meals on doorsteps or mailboxes. It’s so simple to put a couple extra chicken breasts in the slow cooker for another families meal. I don’t ever have to even bother the mom. Or if you are like me and life gets crazy, connect to The Thymely Chef and Green Girl Groceries. They both Deliver Food AND they are both moms business owners so they get it!
In other cultures such as in Africa, South America and historically in America, mothers had a ‘lying period’ where friends, families and neighbors lent a helping hand HAPPILY. They wanted the mother to bond with their baby and to heal. I encourage all of our ihelpmoms.com fans to do something nice “just because” for a fellow mom- I promise it will make you so happy. BUT the key is to not expect anything in return. Do it with a giving heart.
And the golden key to enjoying life after kids is ACCEPTING HELP. It’s not complaining, It’s not showing weakness. Truly the vulnerability of accepting help and being grateful can lead to deep, meaningful relationships with fellow moms.
And after all, isn’t that something all of us are searching for?
ihelpmoms.com is the positive place for moms to find help to Make Motherhood Easier. We are on a mission to connect YOU to family experts to create happy, healthy kids and families! Ask for help from our family professionals…You will be glad you did!