Finding Calm In The Midst of the Chaos of Being Mom
Every mom has STUFF.
But why do some moms seem to handle it better? Me? I drink alot of coffee! LOL but as the honest mom, we know that our professional work, motherhood, housework, relationships and marriage can be ALOT to handle! Ever feel like you are drowning? Do you want more peace and joy as a mom? Do you want a happier home for your kids? If so, you are in the right place!
We headed over to our ihelpmoms.com therapist for an amazing Ask the Experts Show LIVE on our ihelpmoms.com Facebook page where we discussed how moms can find MORE Calm instead of yelling, stressing and being overwhelmed.
Q. How to find peace in the midst of chaos- PIN IT!
- First and Foremost- you are allowed to feel what you are feeling. The whole range.
Your feelings are not good or bad. You shouldn’t feel bad about what you are feeling and you shouldn’t judge someone else’s feelings.
Anything from: I can’t stop crying to I feel numb or I feel guilty because something good has happened to me during this horrible time.
- Next Step to finding calm is knowing there is an order to things in life.
I need to take care of myself first then my son before I can be of service to others.
Once you get it and accept it, you’re on to the next step.
Q. Next we need to help OURSELVES before we can help our kids if we want a calm home
Become a master self-soother!
People sometimes confuse stepping into what feels better with having to be “positive”
There is nothing worse than pretending to feel something that isnt really in you
I’m not asking people to look at the bright side of things but to embrace the thoughts and feelings that feel better.
Pain is a natural part of the human experience. It is a great teacher. But I don’t want you to get too comfortable and make it a home.
Pain is supposed to show us something. It’s an X-ray. Behind is a desire.
Here are some ideas to break the chaos so you can self soothe to get to a place of recognizing what you REALLY want.
*Turn on music YOU love
*Go outside with your kids
*Bake, cook, craft
*Watch a funny movie
Do something that brings JOY and can get you out of the crazy cycle.
This process of soothing ourselves Identify what you want from a place of EMPOWERMENT and CLARITY.
Q: What is the secret to finding JOY when being a mom can seem really overwhelming?
You will not be a part of the solution while you are vibrating on the same level of the problem.
An excellent book about problem solving is: “Its not about the Shark”. It explains how our brains are wired when we face a problem. We are instinctively drawn to the problem. Imagine a circus and the lions and the lion tamer are the problem. But the solution is not there in the pit. It’s the popcorn guy going up and down the stairs. You will never find him if you don’t take your eyes of the problem. The problem is loud and flashy and in your face. It’s so alluring to keep focusing on it. That’s what it wants, to keep you mesmerized. You have to look up and around to find your solutions.
It’s when you identify the desire then do your best to relax your mind, remove your attention for a bit and let your mind wander a little. It’s those ideas that come in the shower, when you’re on a walk, or watching a silly show with a loved one.
Get out of your head, because chaos creates a loop in the brain and will fuck you up. Go do something for somebody else. During chaos we feel powerless, so get some of your power back by doing something that’s in your reach. Maybe it’s donating blood, babysitting for someone that really needs the help, giving of your talents in any way. Now you just became a part of the solution.
And most of all remember this:
“The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” -Mahatma Gandhi
Marcela Topf- ihelpmoms.com Family Therapist
Join our Mom Doing Good Together group on Facebook as we come together to do GOOD in the world with fellow moms that want to focus on service others AND most importantly role modeling peace, love and joy for our kids!
See you every Monday and Thursday for our Ask The Experts Show LIVE on Facebook at noon est.
This Thursday we are doing are talking with a toddler expert about how to experience a happy transition to a big girl or big boy room!
And we are announcing an AMAZING giveaway YOU will want!
Thanks for tuning in as we explore how to Make Motherhood Easier, Healthier and Happier!