Why I Canceled My Daughters Birthday
There is one legacy I want to make sure I pass onto my girls.
I want them to be GRATEFUL for their blessings. Easier said than done however I found out this weekend!
Saturday my daughter turned 4 and her school allows for a small celebration. I took two kids at 5pm after work, after after ballet lessons to the grocery store to pick up ice cream treats for her class. Most moms know that this is not the most fun task around dinner time!
The next morning, I woke up to her crying, complaining and inconsolable. Yes, yes, all you perfect parents, I stayed calm, giving her choices, following the connection parenting tactics. I finally decided enough is enough. Big alligator tears rolled down her face as I explained that she would not be getting to celebrate her birthday due to her behavior. My heart clinched but I stood strong.
I contacted my mom coach and therapist Marcela Topf to simply ask if I was failing at motherhood. After mornings like today I wondered if I was the only mom struggling with whining, complaining, crying kids!
Here is the insight my mom coach gave me:
1. She asked if anything had changed in our household. I said A LOT! I have been struggling this pregnancy health wise for months, I am pushing harder than ever at work and my husband is gone a lot more for work.
2. She gently explained to me that every family is different, but kids absorb all of that stress from parents and may express it in their behavior.
3. She inspired to me to think less about reprimanding the whining and rebellion and to focus on FUN in our house to lower the stress.
I felt like a light bulb went off. We had THE BEST weekend with our girls full of parties, parks, family festivals and quality time. There was no reprimanding as she never whined ONCE as she was feeding off our adult spirit of joy and happiness!
Thank goodness for our ihelpmoms.com mom coaches and therapists helping us gain perspective that we are not failing and maybe more importantly that we are not alone.
After a fun weekend, my daughter gently put her hand on my face during bedtime and said “Mommy, thank you for being my mommy.” This time I had the big alligator tears rolling down my face.
On A Mission to Make Motherhood Easier,