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MUST-HAVES FOR A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP

Avarel Smith | Sep 9, 2022

So what is a healthy relationship? It is having someone who sweeps you off your feet, not steps on them. Having a good partner is vital for the success of your relationship.  That person recognizes he/she is a part of your life, rather than your entire life. 

 

You should always be given the space you want and need and your partner should encourage you in your endeavors.  More importantly, having a significant other should never mean giving up your relationships with family or friends.  Your partner should make your life even better, rather than take people away from it. 

 

LOVE

 

Love is a verb, that means it is an action word. So saying “I love you” should be followed by actions that reflect the same concept. It takes much more than just loving partner to sustain your relationship. So here are the other important aspects of what makes up a healthy relationship. 

 

RESPECT

 

Respect is a pattern of behavior that is found in healthy relationships. You should value your partner’s wishes and feelings, and he/she should also value yours.

 

Make an effort to keep the other person’s ideas in mind and let him/her know that as well.  Keeping your partner in mind when making decisions, as well as speaking to each other in a respectful and considerate manner shows mutual respect.

 

You can disagree with your other half and still respect his/her opinion. In a relationship both parties should focus on being responsible for their actions and how those actions affect each other. 

 

If you want to be respected, then show your partner respect as well. You know what they say --- actions speak louder than words. Mutual respect is important to maintain a healthy relationship.

 

COMMUNICATION

 

Open, honest, and safe communication is essential for a healthy relationship.  If something is bothering you, it’s always best to discuss it rather than keeping it inside.  You should talk about what is happening and how you’re affected by it.

 

Make sure to be mindful of your tone of voice when communicating.  Make sure both of you understand each other’s needs and expectations. Being on the same page is a necessity and therefore you have to talk to each other!

 

Listening to your partner is a critical part of communicating as well. You shouldn’t interrupt your partner when he/she is speaking, but rather wait until he/she has gotten to a certain point. 

 

Your body language also says a lot during communication. Maintain eye contact, make encouraging gestures to acknowledge you’re listening, and don’t cross your arms or legs, nor turn your head or body away, since this is viewed as you’re not interested or in disagreement.

 

TRUST

 

Trust is one of the main building blocks of a healthy relationship.  Trusting your partner means you feel you can depend on him/her to be reliable, or that he/she is consistent in his/her actions of being honest, respectful and caring for you.  

 

If your partner is trustworthy, what he/she says and does are both equivalent. If a partner says “I love you”, then turns around and is abusive, his/her words and actions don’t match up.  You just don’t abuse someone you love.

 

Trusting also entails understanding that each of you has a right to some privacy. A person who displays insecurity and distrust may constantly pressure you for details about a situation or a past relationship. 

 

Building trust in a relationship also means that each of you is there for the other in difficult times and is supportive of each other’s goals and dreams.

 

If you’ve been in a relationship and the trust was broken, it can be a challenge to trust again.

 

However, if your new partner hasn’t given you reason to be distrustful, don’t assume the same behavior will exist as it did with your previous relationship. This is unfair and will lead to you sabotaging your relationship.

 

There are countless individuals in relationships with partners they don’t trust.  Work on improving your confidence level and loving yourself entirely before setting foot into a relationship.

 

The stronger you are as a person, the easier it will become to trust another person. And of course if your partner isn’t trustworthy, then ask yourself why would you stay in that relationship.  The answer to that question relates directly to your self-worth.

 

HONESTY

 

Honesty is one of the qualities that most people list they want in a partner.  Simply put, honesty builds trust in a relationship.

 

Sharing personal experiences and secrets with your partner help to form a bond and promotes a healthy relationship.  This requires honesty from both of you, rather than providing misinformation.

 

Some people tend to believe that white lies are okay. But when you fabricate one white lie, then another upon another, what happens?  Well, your relationship is based on a web of lies.

 

You should be with someone you can be 100% honest with – a significant other who will also be 100% honest with you.   In a new relationship sharing details about your past should occur gradually over time. 

 

Nevertheless, honesty is the best policy, but avoid comparing your previous partner to the current one, as this can be very hurtful.  In a relationship, true freedom comes from the power of honesty. 

 

Be A Reflection Of What You Want And How You Want To Feel 

 

Over time our needs continuously change. Try being more understanding, if you’d like to feel understood.  

 

If you would like to feel more loved, try showing more love. While there are no guarantees, studies have found that couples who practice these techniques maintain longer and stronger relationships than those who are not proactive in their love.

 

In Dr. Terri Orbuch's book, "Finding Love Again:  6 Simple Steps To A New And Happy Relationship", she states "Just being in a relationship isn't enough. What many people don't realize is that a mediocre relationship (or staying in an unhappy romantic relationship) can actually make you physically unhealthier.  One study found that unhappy relationships increase your chances of becoming ill by 35 percent."  

 

Don't fall victim to these statistics, but rather take proactive steps to ensure that your relationship is indeed a fulfilling and lasting one.  Use the information here to ensure you create a strong foundation for having a healthy relationship.

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