You're not the judge of me... or are you?
Patty Castellanos | Jul 22, 2023
Hey Mama, let's talk about that judgment...
We see it, hear it and feel it.
It's a sneaky sensation, isn't it, not always easy to figure out...
- Perceived judgement from others
- Real judgement from others
And in all reality, these 3 can sometimes feel fuzzy, intertwined and you can almost feel trapped in its uncertainty, making it even more difficult to pull apart and understand what to do about it.
Now, I'm all about helping you reduce anxiety, stress, and overwhelm while increasing that calm confidence of yours, but let me tell you, judgment can be a sneaky little soul sucker that can wreck havoc on our inner sense of calm, safety, and trust.
First things first, let's acknowledge that we're all human, and let's admit it, we're wired to make judgments. It's part of our curious nature. So if you judged yourself or felt judged, let's normalize it now.
Good, now we can move forward, because here's the thing – when we judge ourselves too harshly or on unrealistic standards, or allow the feeling of judgement from others, we place immense pressure on our shoulders and maybe even move into a full-blown negativity fest that brings us down.
And that's neither fun, nor helpful, because that creates unrealistic expectations, magnifies our perceived flaws, and has us constantly comparing ourselves to others, perpetuating a cycle of fear and doubt.
So just follow me here for a moment...
If you know me, you know where I'm going...
Take a slow easy breath in and as you exhale, just imagine this...
You're going through a tough moment, being a bit too hard on yourself, setting impossible standards, magnifying those little things about you that aren't quite right, not yet where you want to be, feel it, sense it, notice where it shows up in your body...
You find yourself spiraling into those thoughts and feelings, increasing those feelings of anxiety and stress, it feels overwhelming!
How did this happen?
That cycle, that familiar cycle, you know what's happening, begins again...
This may even be the very thing that makes you uniquely awesome, though you just don't realize it yet...
And now take a breath in, shake out those arms and legs as you exhale...
Notice what you notice, the thoughts and feelings that came up for you...
And if this experience is all too familiar to you and you're ready break that cycle to change that narrative and be free from the power of that judgment to create a more helpful and accepting mindset, I got you!
Here are some ideas to get you started:
Cultivate self-compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would have for a friend. Acknowledge your strengths and embrace your imperfections. Remember, we're all a work in progress, and that's what makes life interesting!
Practice mindful presence: By observing our thoughts without judgment, we can cultivate a greater sense of self-awareness and detach ourselves from unhelpful patterns. Mindfulness allows us to live in the present moment, appreciating what's happening and the possibilities it holds.
Challenge limiting beliefs: Identify ideas or beliefs that fuel judgment and explore where they came from. Are they your own beliefs or do they come from past experiences or other people's opinions? Are these beliefs serving your growth and well-being? If not, consciously choose what you would rather believe and begin the process of letting go and replacing them with empowering and supportive beliefs.
Now mama, this is not meant to be an overnight shift, growth is not linear, and each motherhood journey is unique. So, celebrate each small intentional step forward and recognize the progress you're making.
Now mama, this is not meant to be an overnight shift, growth is not linear, and each motherhood journey is unique. So, celebrate each small intentional step forward and recognize the progress you're making. The fact that you read this far means that this resonated with you in a special way, which means you are so ready for this! If you'd like to talk more about this or anything else, I'm here! You can schedule your I Help Moms Coaching Call here to learn more and schedule a time that's good for you! You got this!
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