An Apology To My Second Child
(For all you perfect moms out there that think you know it all…this blog is not for you!)
My second daughter is 9 months old and this last week she has started waking up at night again. I actually laughed at 4 am sitting in the rocker with her, remembering as a first time mom with my daughter Anjali, I would have been FREAKING out asking friends for advice about why she isn’t sleeping, seeking advice on the moms Facebook Groups, wondering if she was getting enough to eat, or whether she was sick.
But this time around with baby #2, I know she is either teething, getting back to East Coast Time from traveling or in a growth spurt. I embrace our 4 am quiet time together snuggling. I know not to stress because this time around I have our ihelpmoms.com professional experts if I need them to help me. It gives me peace knowing these amazing experts that support moms.
The best lesson I thought about last night is how different motherhood is the next time around!
I dressed my first daughter Anjali adorably. I loved the way her bow matched her outfit and that she looked like a little doll!
I must say sorry to my second daughter Jasmine, as you are usually in a onesie because I can never find the pants that match and forget about socks, that is way too much effort as we are perpetually running out the door!
I planned my day around Anjali’s nap and bedtime schedules.
Sorry Jasmine. You always want to nap when we drop your sister off at school and I always have to wake you up when we go to pick her up. You should probably go to bed earlier too, but I can’t seem to fit in cooking, cleaning, baths and reading in time for you to see your daddy when he gets home, so I appreciate your patience at night! You are such a happy, easy baby!
I took my first daughter to every mommy and me class, every moms meet up, every activity available! We had so much fun together meeting new friends and learning together.
Sorry Jasmine. This time around I am running around in the mornings trying to get a toddler to school and the days of long playdates over coffee are bygones. Your friends are Anjali’s friends siblings, lucky for both of us it works out!
I sang, danced, doted and paid attention to Anjali every minute of the day. I took photos, I did the black and white flash cards, I did baby sign language. I bypassed showers because I didn’t want her to cry, I stressed trying to cook dinner because I felt guilty not stimulating her!
Sorry Jasmine. Thank goodness you have the best big sister that talks to you in the morning while I get a shower, that I prioritize now in my life. Your big sister loves you so much. She knows how to entertain you while I cook dinner.
Here’s what I see this time around that I never could have imagined as a first time mom. My first daughter is nurturing. She is a lover, she pays attention to others needs and she is so caring. I truly think her demeanor is due to the fact that I could spend such good time with her learning and growing together. And yes I was definitely overprotective, but luckily I get to make tweaks this time around! My second daughter is independent, very advanced and simply happy. I think her disposition is due to having a sibling to watch, copy and learn from.
And yes, I fully bow down to those of you that have more kids than me. I by no means know it all and I learn daily great tips from my mom friends with many many more kids that me:)
Thankfully the #1 thing I have learned is that kids need love and for us to be PRESENT. They are smart, they are resilient and best of all as you add kids to your house they are there for one another, which offers valuable teaching and collaboration. I already see them communicating as sisters and even sharing inside jokes and it makes me smile to see their sisterhood.
Motherhood is called a journey for a reason. It’s funny, it’s exhausting, it’s joy filled. At ihelpmoms.com I tell the truth so you know you are not alone. Our ihelpmoms.com network of family focused professionals such as Pediatricians, Post Partum Doulas, Preschools, After School Sports Programs, Kids Shuttle Services, Meal Delivery and more is all there on our website to help YOU! www.ihelpmoms.com