Am I Expecting Too Much From Family?
I called my mom today and she just didn’t seem as excited as I wanted her to be, that she was going to see my sweet girls this Christmas. It seems like more of a burden on her than enjoyment honestly. Then I sat back and wondered was it her or was it MY own holiday stress that was messing with my perception of the situation???
As the matriarch she has her way of doing everything and I hated having to bother her to pick up diapers, fruits and veggies for the kids, on top of what she was already preparing for the holidays but I didn’t have another option. Part of me actually thought it would just be easier to do our own small family thing! (horrible I totally know, but I always pledge to be honest here at ihelpmoms.com!)
My mind started to think about the nearly 30 year stretch my mom took care of 3 kids, cooked, ran us to every activity imaginable, worked and cleaned our house spotless daily. I instantly felt guilty for wishing she was more excited to see my girls as she obviously put in her motherhood dues! I thought about the moms many of my friends talk about that gladly volunteer to watch the kids or my mother in law that loves to bake and do crafts with the girls. My mind also thought of the moms I know who complain about their invasive mothers/inlaws or that their extended families spoil their kids too much.
But then I had a HUGE realization. WHAT WILL OUR KIDS SAY ABOUT US WHEN WE ARE THE GRANDMAS?! There is no WAY we will be the perfect grandmas or mother in laws as we are NOT mind readers as to what our own kids will want from us when that time comes!
Thanks to our mom coaches and mental health therapists, I have realized that I don’t need to feel guilty, make excuses or exaggerate a family situation. Reality is just what it is. Life will never be perfectly perfect, so maybe just maybe the key is to just be GRATEFUL for today.
Tonight I decided to MAKE my holidays HAPPY and stop stressing! It is only up to ME to create a great environment for my immediate family. So tonight I curled up on the couch watching Miracle on 34th Street with my toddler to enjoy the holiday moments. Holiday are a time to slow down and reflect on the blessings in life. A time to be thankful. A time to be with the ones we love.
Make sure to watch what our mommy therapists recommend to help us destress and enjoy the holidays at this FREE WEBINAR!
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays To All Of Our Moms!