I Am Afraid To Give Birth In A Hospital
Today I am watching a Tony Robbins TED Talk and he discusses how Rosa Parks in 1955 did not just make a decision that affected her life, it affected our entire culture. It shifted a nation. Her courage to speak up changed the world for the better forever. It inspired me to be more courageous to speak up.
This really got me thinking about in today’s world, we have women uniting all over the nation to support the right to choose, to stand up for women’s rights, for gender equality, but when it comes to how women give birth, we are still very divided and judgmental.
Birth is an incredible miracle that should unite women, but the judgment when I say that I do home births is UNBELIEVABLE. I was at my daughter’s school the other day and someone asked me where I was going to deliver. I replied at home. The parent’s eyes lowered into slits glaring at me (they happen to be an M.D.) and just as they were about to shut the door to their car they stuck their head out to let me know they thought I was crazy. I had another mom stop me and whisper…”I heard a rumor. You do natural birth?! At home!” Since when did giving birth naturally become a dirty word on the street? I just had to laugh! Birth is one of the most miraculous things the woman’s body was designed for!
I couldn’t get offended by these unsolicited comments from other parents, as I realized most people just don’t even know about natural birth or realize the preparation that goes into a home birth or birth center birth. My worst nightmare would be to give birth in a hospital…so I thought I would share a different perspective as I sit here ready for my 3rd home birth 3 cm dilated at 38 weeks, excited to meet my next baby!
My Side of the Story
So I wanted to tell my side of the story about why I am actually terrified to give birth in a hospital.
1. I have had 2 home births and the thought of being in a bed on my back sounds like torture to me personally. I much prefer to be moving around, walking, eating and allowing nature to move my baby down the birth canal naturally with gravity. I had to do one contraction on my back, one time with my first daughter in my bed at home and I thought I was going to die. The rest of my births I spent on all fours or squatting or in the water which I found to be much more comfortable.
2. I don’t choose to give birth in a hospital because I don’t want to hear the beeps of machines, get checked or have people I don’t know coming in and out of my room. I love hypnobirth and I love the relaxing nature that it allows me to birth in my own home filled with peace. It empowers me to focus on my baby, my body and NOT hearing anyone telling me to PUSH. I would probably punch them in the face, as my second birth the expulsion reflex worked exactly like it should with no pushing on my part. It was an awesome experience that most women don’t even know about because their health care providers may not be educating them on the incredible power of the uterus.
3. I don’t want to be pressured or guilt tripped in a hospital. I understand the protocol of Pitocin, epidurals, the baby’s heart beat decreasing, leading to the c-section many times. I understand that baby’s health and moms wellness, of course, is a top priority. But I don’t want to be rushed, ridiculed or not listened to. Every mom who judges me says the same thing “What if something happens?” Did you know that bad thing happen during deliveries in hospitals too??
I did have a rare emergency during my first delivery and my ihelpmoms.com midwife who has delivered 2,500 babies knew exactly what to do and was prepared. We have an emergency plan in place and that’s why I hire top midwife that is prepared with emergency supplies in the rare instance something happens and knows when to call a transfer to the hospital if needed.
4. I don’t want my baby taken away from me and I don’t want to have any arguments in the hospital while I am trying to focus on my birth. I like the benefits of delayed cord clamping, I don’t want the Vitamin K shot done when there is an oral option, and I want to know that the Doctors and Nurses actually will listen to my wishes so that we can have a beautiful birth experience together. I have deep seeded fear after listening to stories of some of my more holistic friends giving birth in hospitals that did not listen to their wishes, ridiculed their choices, pressured them, threatened them with social services and kicked their husbands out of the rooms! YIKES!
5. Many moms wonder why I choose to do a drug free birth. Because of these benefits listed HERE. And simply put it just makes sense to me, as women have been giving birth forever, historically in fields, in mountains…and I get the luxury of my home environment. After my last birth I bounced back the next day it was such a great delivery!
My key to choosing natural child birth is making hypnobirth classes a priority, hiring a midwife with a lot of births on her resume, getting chiropractic adjustments to make sure my pelvis is aligned for an easy delivery and decreasing back pain, and hiring a doula to help support me through the labor. This allows me to be at peace during labor and delivery, which I have found has led to a relaxed baby once I delivered. Home birth is most definitely not for everyone. There are also birth centers! But for me, home is where I feel safe, secure and comfortable and isn’t that important in birth? If I was not healthy or had a high-risk pregnancy, of course, I would be at a hospital. But thankfully I am healthy and my baby is healthy. Again, I have no judgement on how other moms give birth, just simply opening up the views on why I personally choose natural birth at home.
I don’t care how YOU give birth, if you had a c-section, if you got an epidural, who your health care provider is or where you choose to give birth. My only hope is that you feel supported and cared for.
It’s your body, your baby, your choice.
So I ask in this time in our country’s history when women are coming together to stand for women’s rights, women’s equality, women’s voice, can we consider that there is more than one right way to give birth? Can we stand together to allow for mothers to make their CHOICE on how they want to deliver THEIR baby? ihelpmoms.com is on a mission to connect moms to a wide variety of resources to ensure moms get to birth in LOVE, not fear.
Before Reacting, Read This Please
A few notes before all the mommies get defensive and up in arms: I have so many friends who are amazing nurses and doctors. They always tell me all of the bad things they see, just like I try to tell them all of the beautiful home birth, natural birth, birth center births I see and know. I know that hospital protocols very and that I just happen to live in Florida where the c-section rate has exploded in the last 10 years (can we look at the cost of a vaginal birth versus c-section birth in regards to how much more the Doctors and Hospitals make?) and yes for certain I realize there are emergencies that call for c-sections and I give thanks for great surgeons that are there for those important situations.
I know that there are hospitals in different states that have beautiful birth facilities where water births are allowed, birth comforts such as birth balls are accepted and breastfeeding is actually supported if the mom chooses. However, this is not a reality where I live – except for a few excellent Ob/Gyns in our ihelpmoms.com network who believe in mother led birth thankfully!
To all of the loving, caring, Doctors and Nurses that actually listen to mothers wishes and allow them to birth surrounded by love, not defensive medicine THANK YOU! To all of the doulas, midwives, birth centers, lactation consultants, chiropractors and hypnobirthing instructors THANK YOU for empowering women to believe in their amazing body’s and to trust in the miracle of bringing life into the world.
Let’s celebrate this crazy journey called motherhood and empower women, not strip away one of the most important choices we make as women- BRINGING LIFE INTO THE WORLD. Your baby, your choice. Get educated. Get empowered with our ihelpmoms.com family experts that are here to help, listen and support YOU!
My dream is that ihelpmoms.com provides a WIDE variety of choices for moms to be supported during birth.
If you know of a great healthcare provider that listens, cares whether in a hospital setting, home birth provider or birth center professional, invite them to join ihelpmoms.com mission! There is a mom out there looking for a great birth provider and we need YOUR help spreading the word to these professionals to join ihelpmoms.com FOR FREE! Spread the love by sharing your beloved resources!
Cheers to empowering all moms to have a choice and a voice,
And for all the science minded moms here are some great resources if you are open to researching both perspectives:
First and foremost make sure your scientific data is on a fair playing field:
Midwifery statistics research article: