What I Want to Say about a Gender Reveal
This third pregnancy my husband and I have chose in the beginning to be more relaxed and intimate sharing only with those closest to us to maintain a positive environment.
What is not a secret is that we want a boy so bad.
THERE I said the thing most mom’s won’t admit.
We are sports freaks, this pregnancy I craved salt not sugar, I didn’t have morning sickness this time, we are athletes, we want to carry on the last name, I am not a girly girl. We have had our boy name waiting for 8 YEARS!!!
We excitedly stood holding hands watching the ultra sound. I SWEAR I saw a penis. I could feel the grip of awe and wonder with the feeling of getting to raise a son. The ultra sound tech froze on my belly and asked “What was it again you wanted?” A BOY we both sang out.
He turned to the monitor and said there is the labia, it’s a girl…
Our grip loosened, the air suddenly was harder to breath. Third times a charm what the hell????
I had no tears to cry as all my heart cried out was to my husband to say I am SO sorry I don’t have a boy in my belly for you. You would make the best dad to a rambunctious, outgoing little fella!
My phone beeped nonstop with the texts pouring in from friends and the calls asking what the ultra sound showed. I could barely pick up the phone to look let alone answer.
There is only ONE answer people REALLY want to hear and its “We are having a third girl and we are happy” insert big cheesy smiley face here. That emoji saved me during this time.
Here are the things I really want to say:
1. If you aren’t a friend I could shed a true tear with, maybe don’t text right away out of nosey interest.
2. If you can’t handle when I tell you we are shocked and processing it all don’t ask me how the ultra sound went.
3. Don’t tease and say we can try again. We are done and this is it. If I was still in my twenties cool…but I am NOT!
4. Don’t tell me it’s my husband’s ‘fault’. It’s a sad feeling to know you won’t have kids to carry on your last name.
5. I honestly am happy but the pain I feel is for my husband never getting to have a son. We barely talked for 24 hours as we each processed.
The next day still I had to keep breathing when I saw everyone in my normal routine, to stop from crying. I had to pull my car over several times just to pull it together so I wasn’t driving through a sea of tears. Nobody ever shares the real feelings mom’s go through as we all expect the happy face.
As time goes on I focus on the positive:
I AM grateful to be pregnant.
I AM grateful to have another girl who will have best friends for life.
I AM grateful for all of my amazing friends who have boys that I get to enjoy being around and celebrate!
I AM grateful for the friends who simply gave me a hug even when they saw the sheen of tears in my eyes and just allowed my feelings to BE. They accepted I am no super woman, just a mom battling the emotions of desperately wanting a son and processing the future beauty of having 3 blessings of girls.
On a mission to make motherhood easier,